A Surgical Affair

It's been over three weeks now since I've had my surgery. It's amazing how quickly the mind can forget experiences. It was a dreary, rainy Wednesday morning when my mom marched me up to the surgical center. I hadn't slept well the night before. Not that it would matter much as I was about to be put back to sleep in a few hours.

I was the youngest person there being prepped for surgery. I don't think there was a person within 30 years of me. Seriously. But everyone there was so nice, especially since I was so grumpy from no food since 8pm or water since midnight. My tummy kept rumbling at the sight or smell of food. But I was able to maintain self control when I thought to getting sick after anesthesia.

Gowns are probably the most embarrassing thing a person can wear. Especially on the day you have your period. Nothing like going for a cystoscopy (this is a surgery to your bladder) on a day when you want nothing more than to wear underwear. Instead, I got to wear only a surgical gown and shove a maternity pad between my legs.

Humility: 1 Dignity: 0

I finally awkwardly climbed on the hospital bed in a strange place, where I am only separated by curtains from my fellow patients. We are all somehow in this together. I've never had and IV before, and if I never have one again, it'll be too soon. I immediately bruised and if that wasn't enough they kept pushing the needle around trying to straighten it. This sudden rush of fluids caused me to need to pee. How am I going to pee with a pad between my legs, an IV in my arm and a hospital gown with a peek-a-boo back. I'll tell you: the nurse holds your IV and gown and leads you to the bathroom.

Humility: 2 Dignity: 0

Once I get into the bathroom, she lets that gown go. Before the door is even shut! She needs that hand to shut the door, thus exposing my bum to her and anyone else that can sneak a peak.

Humility 3: Dignity: 0

Eventually I pee, and get re-situated on my little hospital bed next to my mom with that lovely pad between my legs. My anesthesiologist comes in. She turns out to be great and she comes bearing Valium for this adventure into the operating room. Of course the doctor performing my surgery is a good 45 minutes late, so we have time to chat.

She mentions my surgery in detail. After I am put under, they stick my legs in stirrups. Ladies know them, the ones for pap smears and childbirth. Before I was put under, I counted four people in the room, excluding the doctor. I'm not disappointed that I don't remember any of that. In fact, I'm slightly relieved.

Humility 4: Dignity: 0

After drifting off into a peaceful, Valium happy sleep, I awake in the recovery room, attached to monitors that are beeping away. I can barely see the nurse through my bleary eyes as she says, "I'm going to take the catheter out now." YANK! And she walks off with a very large bag full of what looks like blush wine. I immediately have to pee. Strangely enough, the pad has been replaced between my legs after surgery. Hmph?

Humility:5 Dignity: 0

I wearily look around after taking unknown drugs for my mom. I can hear her heals clacking the linoleum. I know she is there! And she appears from behind the curtain. I state my need to pee. Once again, it is a production to the bathroom. This time without the IV bag, just the IV needle still in my hand. It was some of the worst pain I have ever experienced. But, I was still quite drugged, so I took it in a sort of dazed way.

Humility 6: Dignity: 0

Once I return from my adventure to the toilet, I beg to go home. I can't dress myself so my mom has to help me. They remove my IV and I turn to walk out of the hospital, but the nurse stops me. She instructs me to sit in the wheelchair and then proceeds to wheel me out to the entrance I came in that morning. Such door to door service. But my mom doesn't arrive with the car for another 10...long...minutes.

Humility: 7 Dignity: 0

At the end of this adventure, I was rewarded by food. glorious bagel sandwiches and a comfy bed to sleep in. What more could you ask for after that?

Humility: 7 Dignity: 0 Stomach: 1

To be honest, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But, I'm glad it's over. I'm still dealing with some of the effects. It was good to be home with my family. I went out the next night when I was coherent with my older brother and Carla. I haven't seen her in so long, it was good to catch up. It's also good to be getting along with Matt now that I'm growing up. Your parents will tell you that you'll grow up to love and get along with your siblings, but you never expect them to be right. It's a good feeling to be wrong. It's good when your brothers can be your friends after years of hair pulling and shoving and locking each other in closets. I'm excited for Matt to go to Scotland--another family member has taken up traveling. And he's got a pretty sweet camera, so it's been fun to share pictures as well.

Well, spring time has come to Toronto. I have a chest cold, but have been sitting in the grass drinking Starbucks every day with Shannon. I forgot how wonderful warm weather and sunshine can be. These days feel so good to just remember how simple everything can be in the sunshine. It also makes me miss sailing. Springtime always does.