It's heading to that time of year again. The inevitable holiday season and for many of us that means Christmas. I shouldn't have done it this morning, but I put on Christmas music at work. Instead of being flooded with excitement, I am suddenly achy all over. What is it that I am aching for? Past Christmas seasons when I still believed in magic, my family 12,000 miles away or the traditions I have given up?
I've traded in real Douglas fir trees, Christmas cookies, snow, fires in the fireplace, hearty meals of mashed potatoes, ham, stuffing and turkey and spiked eggnong or hot chocolate for Christmas puddings, mince pies and fruit cakes, cricket, cold beer, cold salads and bbqs, plastic trees, long and hot summer days and pools.
Last year was my first experience of Christmas Carols while sweating. I suppose many people experience the holiday that way. I hadn't. And no, I didn't like it. I missed my family and my traditions. I gave the plastic tree a go and I think I tried a mince pie with custard (a vile experience I am glad I won't have to repeat this year....thank you diet). I even swam in a pool the day after Christmas. I ate cold salads and drank tea instead of a hearty meal with family. I might have even gotten a sunburn.
But it didn't make me happy. It didn't feel like Christmas. It felt like any other day of the year. Any other summer day on a weekend where you spent most of the day laying around to avoid the heat. There were a few presents involved, but that doesn't make the holiday. But then again, what does? That is dependent on the person.
For me? It's the holiday the way I've always known, with the people I've always known. But, we all have to grow up and sometimes that includes moving away. Far away. And that changes everything. So this year I have decided that I am not celebrating the Christmas season. It just feels right. Going away to camp in the wilderness, to enjoy nature in the summer weather. But, I still have to survive the rest of the season up until December 25th. I forgot about that.
So, here we go. I'm preparing myself for the wait (without Christmas cookies or anything else). Another long December until next year....
